Thanks to feminism, women aren’t oppressed like before. Nowadays, women are allowed to vote, get an education, own property, and pursue a career, and a lot of these are thanks to feminist movements of the past. However, things have dramatically changed with the inclusion of The Internet and social media, and now women are faced with different rules, especially when it comes to online dating. Things are quite different online, so here is a feminist survival guide to dating that will help you stay grounded and positive.
You don’t have to be someone else
If there’s one thing that feminism taught women, is that you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. When dating online, this is even more important, because different people have different expectations. For example, if you’re not a vegan, there’s no need to pretend like you’re one: simply speak your truth while remaining respectful and kind, and you’ll be happy even if your date doesn’t go according to the plan. Being yourself can be a freeing experience, however, it’s still necessary to maintain a fine line between being honest and being crass.
You set the rules
If there’s something that you dislike about a person, it’s up to you to let it slide or to address that. Remember that online dating can be confusing at first, and therefore it’s important to remember that you’re free to set your own rules, especially when it comes to the behavior of your dates and the expectations after the meeting. Of course, setting your rules means you should communicate things openly, while still maintaining your boundaries.
You don’t owe anyone anything
Everyone knows that dating in the digital age can be challenging at times, and therefore it’s important to remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. Getting your drink or coffee paid by your date does not mean you owe them sex or another date if you didn’t feel the connection the first time around. Many women still believe that date automatically means the sex afterward, and this belief is an outdated and patriarchal remnant that is sadly, still prevalent in many societies. You are in charge of your body and desire, and no one should force you to do things that you don’t want to do.
You can do anything you want (but be careful)
Women have always been slut-shamed for showing their femininity or desire for sex, especially compared to men who did the same. But luckily, times have been slowly changing for the better, and many women nowadays are free to do anything they like. Hence, if you feel like doing something, then there’s no need to ask for anyone’s approval. However, being careful and acting responsibly should always be your top priority, because if you’re in charge of your destiny, and personal safety is a huge part of that.
You don’t need to tolerate uncomfortable things
Since online dating requires texting and sometimes, video-chatting, many women don’t know how to behave or what to expect. This confusion is perfectly normal, considering that online dating is still a relatively new concept. Therefore, it’s essential to point out that you shouldn’t tolerate things that make you uncomfortable. For example, receiving an unsolicited picture of someone’s genitalia is an abhorrent behavior that deserves to be called out on the spot. So, if something like this happens to you, you have all the power to distance yourself or block the person from your online space.
This feminist survival guide will help you feel more confident and clear about online dating. Also, it’s important to be calm, honest, and grounded, as that will help you become more assertive and comfortable. Finally, remember that you should do only the things that make you feel good and appreciated because that is the true way to have a good and fulfilling dating experiences.