Just count for a moment, how many different sources of media have told you about the benefits of having a daily routine? There’s podcasts, magazines, books, classes and that’s not even delving into the Instagram reels, memes and aggressively helpful advice from your overly opinionated friend. I honestly have lost track, but it has instilled in me this need-for-consistency based guilt that’s hard to get rid of.
The modern creative woman is supposed to bounce out of bed, have an already functioning brain able to write her daily pages, followed by the ability to sit still in meditation and not fall asleep, and then an hour of gruelling yoga or work out – all before the first sip of coffee touches her lips.
Have you met this woman? She’s exhausted. I’m exhausted just writing about her.
It’s a good thing she’s fictional. And I’m bold enough to say: We were lied to.
You can unsubscribe to this daily routine belief right here.
Let’s use myself as an example and explore a different possibility. My morning as a creative consists of sending a morning selfie to my already awake and at-work girlfriend of me still asleep, scrolling for 10 minutes trying to choose the easiest home-yoga video and then rushing around to put on a face and ingest caffeine before I start my first zoom call of the day.
If we are supposed to have routines, don’t you think we would find it easier and more natural? Maybe, we are actually supposed to be different every day.
To me, this approach would be far more forgiving. More of asking questions like: Who am I today? And what grand and glorious adventure would I like to have? And then adapting to your days requirements, making choices to further your progress, and taking care of your body based on how you really feel.
I’d like to see us consciously choosing our mornings instead of functioning on auto-pilot.
This then poses the objection, or resistance even to changing our beliefs. If rigid routines and daily practices are no longer the norm for self-care, how are we supposed to take care of ourselves?
Now, we are asking the right questions. What truly is self-care? To me, it’s the ability to be everything I crave and need – for myself. For no other reason, than I need this, I like this, I want this – I shall give it to myself.
- Looking for someone to have your back? Wrap yourself in a fluffy blanket and give yourself a hug, then straighten your back and stand up strong like a superhero (you may feel silly) and commit to being there for yourself.
- You wake up feeling disconnected? Stretch it out for 5 minutes and then massage your neck and arms slowly when you hop in the shower.
- You need a spark of inspiration? Take yourself off to your favorite art gallery or creative movie for a date-for-one.
Imagine a world of self-sustainable, self-fulfilled people.
What kind of effect that would have on the people we interact with if we got what we needed for ourselves? Common belief is that if we don’t need anyone else, we will become reclusive and retreat into our shells. But human spirit has shown time and time again, that if we are fulfilled in our own needs, we then reach out and engage more with others.
So how can you start to take ownership of your own self-care without subscribing to the routine-based models we see everywhere?
Start by asking yourself questions.
When you ask yourself questions without expectation of an answer, you start to train yourself to listen deeply and empower your own awareness to guide you.
Make some new choices.
It honestly doesn’t matter what the choice is about, big or small. What matters is that you get used to choosing for yourself and exploring new things. This builds your confidence in your ability to choose and have your own back.
Know how you work.
Are you most productive at a certain time of day? Know you hit a wall after being around people for 3 hours? Start to explore deeply what makes you tick and keep an eye on yourself so you can increase your self-care when you need it.
Gather your resources.
Find the things that help you create the energy you want your life to be like. For me it’s this over-the-top white fluffy blanket that just makes me melt. I suggest you start by making a list of what energies you want to have readily available in your life, and then you can curate the items for your surroundings that can achieve this target.
There’s a brilliant quote from Seth Godin “Build a life you don’t need to escape from.” You have everything within you that can fulfil your daily self-care needs. Take the time today to make yourself a priority. Fill your space with a lot more you, and a lot less everyone else. Then see how much more you can be for everyone else.
Rebecca Hulse is an author, speaker and creative rebel at heart. She is a business coach on a mission to help creatives be successful without being exceedingly serious, guiding entrepreneurs to bring their ideas to life and to apply the tools that actually fit their purposes.
As someone who revels in shaking up the realities and limiting paradigms of her clients, Rebecca thrives in situations where the impossible transitions to possible. As a former performing artist, and today’s contemporary voice for millennials, Rebecca completed her first “bucket list” by age 20. She is the personification of her motto, “impossible is temporary,” which is evident in her latest book, Rebellious Rituals. In Rebellious Rituals, Rebecca guides readers to change their daily-life experiences with indulgent self-care, frank acknowledgments, and explosive creativity.
You can learn more about Rebecca Hulse by visiting, https://rebeccahulse.com. For more about Rebellious Rituals visit, rebeccahulse.com/book. Follow Rebecca @rebeccahulse_legacy and @rebecca.hulse.coach.